Thundercats Are Go!

It had been an interesting week. It started, as an increasing number of things in my life do, with a bus trip. I woke up when the bus stopped moving, and when I looked out the window, I saw her. It was unfair how beautiful she was; it made it hard to think. There was nothing for it but to press forward. We exchanged our hellos, and inside me the weathervane of change began to move.

The next few days were filled with hiking and local sights. We ate burgers and looked down over the docks, we ate sandwiches and looked up at the mountains. We did mundane things, but they were touched with brilliance, which made them … unforgettable. I would catch myself staring, catch myself standing next to her at mealtimes so that, naturally, I would happen to be seated next to her. I was pathetic, but euphorically so, and I wasn’t sure if I liked it or was disgusted at how mooney I had become.

Then there was a week of illness, and even had I wanted to have The Talk, I was honestly scared of it ending with, “BLLLEEECCHH.” I don’t care what the topic is, a conversation has always gone poorly if it ends in retching. So I held my tongue, and chose instead to bring soup. Or as it were, crackers and Gatorade. It was ironic how many times I was told that I didn’t need to stay, that I didn’t need to keep from going out and doing what I wanted. It was ironic because I was exactly where I wanted to be. But that’s not what I said. I said something else, something flip and glib to turn the attention away from the embarrassing truth that I was, hourly, becoming more and more afraid of spilling.

Even still, I could feel the inevitability, and so I began my preparations. Jared would kill me if I sprung this on him after the fact, and so I had to talk to him. But I was never alone in the apartment anymore. It resulted in a humorously whispered exchange over Skype while she was napping in the next room, with a subsequent email conversation entitled, “Thundercats Are Go!” Contrary to what Jared may say, I was very eloquent, and didn’t at all sound like a high school girl trying out for her first cheer camp. Actually, he was very helpful, despite veiled threats of retaliation for things that I may or may not have done to him in past years. Talked to friend: check. Talked to girl: Errr…

Thursday was going to be the day. We were going out for tea, because I’m a firm believer in buttering a person up before exposing myself to the potential of psyche-scarring rejection. As we were walking out the door, her phone rang. A family friend was in China and had fallen 30 feet down a ravine and landed on his face, splitting his skull and breaking his neck. He has since made a miraculous recovery, and the Lord kept him from any loss of motor or mental functioning. That’s an entire story in and of itself. We sat down and prayed together, and even though we still went out for tea, there were bigger things going on in the world than what I had planned.

Then Friday, which happened much like Thursday, but without anyone getting hurt. Since we were going to her parents’ that night, my time was all of a sudden limited. I spoke up. I realized that I probably wasn’t going to sound like that vampire guy from the Twilight series, but I had at least hoped that I could avoid reminding people of I Am Sam. Because of that, I’m skipping over a lot of details. We sat down, and there were 10 minutes of excruciating awkwardness as I tried to summon the courage to say something – anything. I clandestinely checked my pulse. It was racing. Just… say… something… Meanwhile, she talked about jumping fish. I don’t know. I finally found the nerve to say what was on my mind, and thankfully she was thinking something similar.

But there was no time for gazing into each other’s eyes as the sun set (maybe just a little), because time had escaped us! It was now much later than it should have been, and we had to make it to her parents-- Oh, what have I done? I just asked a girl out right before spending three nights at her parents’ apartment. Oh boy…